Well, we're alive... most of us that is. A day or two after my last post we suffered a casualty. It was my laptop and it's departure was both sad and untimely. I was just starting to get in the swing of things with blogging, I had carefully organized all my photos from 2011 to create Barrett's first year photo book and I was already cross checking addresses of folks we knew had moved for our Christmas card. I was feeling good and, almost, ahead of the game. And then he decided he didn't want to accept a charge anymore. I promptly sent him over to a friends house who's husband is a self proclaimed computer (geek) genius. He simply took out the battery and plugged it in, problem solved. But just like your car that makes the funny noise or your child who coughs nonstop for days, suddenly as soon as you're in front of a professional everything is perfect again. And as you're pulling out of the parking lot you hear the screech or your sweet babe hacking in the back seat.
Doesn't it happen every single time? Needless to say, it didn't want to work for me. I'm still a little bitter about it, working on that, but it took several weeks to hunt down what my new machine would be and what price I would be willing to pay. Luckily, he died just before Thanksgiving so I utilized Black Friday to pick up my new sparkly, red laptop, Ruby. So far, she's doing great! My sweet friend even promised to pull the hard drive in my old computer and move everything over. Hopefully we'll soon have everything back where it's supposed to go and how it's supposed to work.
I have to tell you though, not having a computer for a couple of weeks was tough. We already don't have cable, but no internet too! I felt out of the loop from society and withdrawn. I mean, who would send the rambling Wednesday night email to my play date friends? How would I know if the perfect Christmas Groupon came through for a member of my family? And what about Facebook... how in the world would I spend my time if I didn't have people to stalk? Luckily my technical depression only lasted a few weeks, but it did open my eyes to how much time I waste on the computer. Most days I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, busy planning, cleaning, cooking or just playing. All too often I find an excuse not to engage the Lord. Father, I'm really busy today, think you could come back tomorrow or ride co-pilot while we run to the grocery store? It's ridiculous. As I sit back and reread my sentence over and over the realization of how spoiled and bratty I am is disheartening. It's a mere twelve days until Christmas and I still can't get it. No matter how clean or Christmasy my house is, no amount of decoration or preparedness can fill the hole of an active relationship with Christ. Why am I still missing the point? How can I possibly miss the sacrifice, the awe, the blessing?
David wrote in Psalm 32 about how when his sin remained silent and hidden his bones wasted away, but when he disclosed his sin and repented the Lord not only forgave him, but filled him up. His closing line echos through the caverns of my heart: "Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!", vs 11. Scripture tells about David being a man after God's own heart, but boy did he know how to screw up. When the Lord blessed him most richly, he often had a tendency to go his own way. But every time he comes back. The Lord draws him back to a place of right relationship, of righteousness. On a morning where my to-do list is a mile long; where laundry has engulfed my couch, dirty dishes lie in the sink and Christmas boxes litter the house, it is abundantly clear where He is calling me.
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