My favorite things

My house is almost there... the only things I HAVE to do are clean the floors- mop and vacuum, finish the laundry, do a bit of ironing, put all the clothes away and whip up a quick dessert. I also have to run an errand and drop off something by the church, all in a days work I guess.

If I get all of those things done, then I get the most fantastic treat, my girl friends are coming over. Seriously, could I BE more excited? And not only do I get to have some fantastic quality time with them this evening while all the babes are safely tucked away in their beds, but we get to share all of our favorite things!
A couple of weeks ago, I ran across a blog that was talking about a Favorite Things Party they had gone to. Basically, you come to someones house armed with five duplicates of your most favorite thing. You also bring your favorite dish to share with the group. Then you get to give all your friends your favorite thing and explain to them how it's totally rocked your world and they get to do the same thing for you! I couldn't think of anything possibly more fun! And aside from my mom and sister not being there, nearly all of my close girls will be here tonight. I of course, tweaked the rules a bit. Growing up a staunch rule follower, I still am, I like to make things my own before I bend over backward to follow my own rules. So not only are the ladies bringing their favorite things and their favorite dish, but jammies are required, children are mostly home with the daddies for the evening (except for the little ones who will we faun over all night) and I've created some random, ridiculous game that I'm sure the girls will laugh at more than laugh over. But the main point is to be together and to have fun.

Barrett before the Ruch family photo shoot last weekend

I'll try to post pictures tomorrow of the madness, but I completely forgot to mention the most hysterical moment of working on the front tree yesterday. Barrett and I were in the front yard (he loves being outside, at some point everyday he'll bang on the storm door to tell me he's tired of being cooped up in the house) he's in play clothes that don't even match and a light sweatshirt since it was in the 60's when we were outside... gotta love a NC winter! He's following me around and playing with the lights when all of the sudden I realize he's wandered away from my side. I turn around to find him walking toward the street, which isn't a huge deal since we were right in front of the house and he had a good ways to walk to actually get there. Well, he's not the most stable on grass, add in the fact that he's got a cold and is teething so his equilibrium is totally off. Frankly, I'm surprised he doesn't just walk in circles at this point. But, he's walking away from me when he loses his balance and starts to roll down the hill. Remember when you were a kid and you would log roll down the hill in your neighbor's yard, just like that. After three or four rotations he stops himself and gets on all fours. He looks up to me with a bewildered look on his face, covered in wet grass head to toe, trying to decide if he should be scared, mad or happy. All I could do was laugh. I remember from nannying that it's all about the reaction when something bad happens, like when Barrett ran into the wall last night, you just have to look away or laugh. If you react like it hurt, he'll think it hurt. So when he finally stopped and I realized he wasn't hurt I scooped him up and laughed with him. He knew everything was okay and if I'm laughing, he's laughing.

I wonder if that's how our Heavenly Father feels? If after a period of strange happenings when we don't quite know which was is up or how to react in a certain situation, if He longs for us to look for His face. I wonder then, if our reaction to circumstances would be different. I imagine Him smiling back at us, not because He enjoyed watching us tumble down the hill, but more because He can see the other side. He knows how that tumble, no matter how large or small, will affect us. And hopefully, if we can look up to see His face, we'll remember that everything will end up okay. That in the end, He will get all the glory. That we will be grown and challenged and stretched. And when the tumble is over, hopefully, we'll look a little more like Him.

The Blue Spruce

So here I sit... same as yesterday. There's still a pile of laundry to be put away, one in the dryer to be folded and another still in the washer ready to be dried. My house is still a wreck; toys, laundry, Christmas boxes, wrapping paper, craft projects, Christmas gifts and sadly, yes, breakfast are all still out in my house. I've been inching my way through the madness for the past few days. Trying to unearth one room at a time; pick it up, make it sparkly clean and then Christmas-fye it.

 I've been working on the putting lights and decorations out in front of the house. We have a 30' blue spruce in our front yard... the owner before us is from New England and had a backhoe brought in to break up the rock in our yard to be able to plant this special spruce he had shipped down from his home town. Basically, I think it's a sin to have a huge Christmas tree in your front yard and not at least put some lights on it. That's normally Braden's job, but this week's been crazy and so was the week before. Since we're only ten days out from Christmas I thought it was time to get this show on the road. I thought it would be a nice surprise to come home from being out of town on business all day, a bright greeting of a festive tree in our yard. One less thing for him to do. To nip a tremendously long story down to a few lines. Barrett and I worked on it late in the afternoon yesterday we ran out of lights and had to get more. I worked on it last night in the pitch dark while he was sleeping. I blew the fuse three times. After trying to change it for a third time with frozen fingers in the dark, I chalked it up as a loss and left it for this morning. 4th fuse is the charm! Tree is up and sparkly.

I've been wrestling with some lighted garland for our outside railings and have changed their fuses (4 times!) and to no avail have given up. As I was feeding Barrett and working with the fuses, I could feel that itch of remembrance. Why am I going to so much trouble? Why am I fighting with plastic greenery? What in the world does this have to do with the birth of Christ? Hello? Anybody in there? Every day as I take on more and more projects I fill up my day with to-do's; some of them are have to's, some are need to's and some are want to's. But you know what the worst thing is... when I spend my time doing the things that aren't even on my list. Jesus is on the written list, heck He should be the whole list, but why is He all too often the first thing to get booted?

With resolve, I've given up on the greenery. I'll put a small one out on the back porch, slap a wreath on the front door and be happy. My day would be much better served sitting at the feet of my Teacher. So that's what I'm going to do. Crank up some worship music and praise Him while I tidy up this huge mess... both my heart AND my house.

With gratitude

Last night, well yesterday in general, was one unexpected treat after another... they are just too good not to share, especially in light of my heart yesterday. Seems Someone has awoken my sleepy heart and recentered me to a place of recognition and gratitude.
This is how my day started.... my sweetest boy woke up at his normal time and Braden hung around a bit later in the morning to help me get Barrett up, changed and ready for breakfast. Can I tell you how much this boy is loving his daddy right now? Seriously, whenever Braden's around I'm chopped liver. Selfishly, part of me aches to be the center of his world, for him to want only his momma. But just when that ugly sin rears its head I see sweet Barrett light up as he races to his daddy's arms. Could there be anything more beautiful?
Braden makes a huge effort to be sure he's here nearly every morning to see Barrett and home in the evenings to play with him and put him to sleep. I all too often forget the sacrifice he makes to be home with us on a regular basis. It would be easy for him to take the travel job that offers prestige and a larger paycheck, but my love chooses to put us first.
The highlight of the morning was showing Barrett our decorated tree for the first time. Braden keeps saying that it's "his first Christmas tree" which isn't technically true, Barrett was born in October of last year, but this is the first tree he can interact with and enjoy. As soon as his feet hit the living room floor he was off in a second. Curious to see how this huge plant had been transformed into something sparkly and dripping with fun things to pull off, taste and explore. Braden and I put all our toddler-friendly ornaments on the bottom third of the tree fully expecting a casualty or two, but Barrett's been really good about the tree so far. Braden and I stood back as our first born got his first real taste of Christmas. We held hands and both mentally tucked this moment away in our hearts to remember forever, a memory too sweet to ever be forgotten.

During his nap, I got ready and had time to finally put some words into a blog. It was nice to have a venue to share my heart, a place to be vulnerable and honest. I loved how the Lord met me even there. After a bit with Him, Barrett was up and it was time for a quick snack and off to our lunch date.

I had to run an errand in a part of town that I rarely go to... well in all honesty, I had a Groupon gift certificate that was expiring this weekend and this boutique is too cute to lose such a great deal. Anyway, this store is only ten minutes down the road from Braden's office so he met us for lunch. We ate at a mexican restaurant we always go to when we're in the area and it was so good. Barrett enjoyed laughing at himself, making friends with ALL the wait staff and patrons- he was waving so hard rice was flying off his tiny fingers onto the floor and eating his weight in beans. Btw, where did this child come from? Clearly he is not his mother's child... he loves beans and yogurt and wouldn't touch cool whip with a ten foot pole... where did we find him? Once I got settled, it was fun to see Braden in the middle of the day. Such a rare treat!

Barrett fell asleep in the car so I quickly crossed all my other errands off my list and made a b-line to the house, threw him in his cribby and hopped on the computer. I had a skype date with a dear friend who has moved to a new city and is in the throes of redefining what her life and family will look like outside of Charlotte.

If my husband leaving for work a bit late and meeting us for lunch wasn't enough for one day, he rolled into the garage at 5:45 last night.... early! He was barely out of work clothes when he took Barrett and he scooted me out the door. Mommy's night off was underway. I ran to the Arboretum to look for this one ridiculously easy gift that my sister-in-law asked for that I cannot seem to find anywhere. I didn't find it, but I did run into a friend that I've been meaning to catch up with. I had time to look and take my time and not rush around worrying if I had enough snacks or how to maneuver the stroller through crazy Christmas shoppers.
It was a great night. Nice to be by myself for a little bit. I enjoyed a peppermint hot chocolate while convincing a store clerk why I needed another $10 off coupon for my purchase. I caught up with a dear friend on the phone and got to pick out my very first purchase for Baby Samuel.

As I drove home in the darkness I belted out Christmas carols in worship to the One we celebrate. Today I am grateful. Grateful for a husband who goes to extraneous lengths to put his family first, for a little boy who can't help himself but want to rip the lights right off the tree, for the tiny babe that kicks me as I write these words, for God's provision for friends and family near and far, for this season and for reminding me of what I've been given, the price it cost and to Whom I belong.

The real irony of my last post

Well, we're alive... most of us that is. A day or two after my last post we suffered a casualty. It was my laptop and it's departure was both sad and untimely. I was just starting to get in the swing of things with blogging, I had carefully organized all my photos from 2011 to create Barrett's first year photo book and I was already cross checking addresses of folks we knew had moved for our Christmas card. I was feeling good and, almost, ahead of the game. And then he decided he didn't want to accept a charge anymore. I promptly sent him over to a friends house who's husband is a self proclaimed computer (geek) genius. He simply took out the battery and plugged it in, problem solved. But just like your car that makes the funny noise or your child who coughs nonstop for days, suddenly as soon as you're in front of a professional everything is perfect again. And as you're pulling out of the parking lot you hear the screech or your sweet babe hacking in the back seat.

Doesn't it happen every single time? Needless to say, it didn't want to work for me. I'm still a little bitter about it, working on that, but it took several weeks to hunt down what my new machine would be and what price I would be willing to pay. Luckily, he died just before Thanksgiving so I utilized Black Friday to pick up my new sparkly, red laptop, Ruby. So far, she's doing great! My sweet friend even promised to pull the hard drive in my old computer and move everything over. Hopefully we'll soon have everything back where it's supposed to go and how it's supposed to work.

I have to tell you though, not having a computer for a couple of weeks was tough. We already don't have cable, but no internet too! I felt out of the loop from society and withdrawn. I mean, who would send the rambling Wednesday night email to my play date friends? How would I know if the perfect Christmas Groupon came through for a member of my family? And what about Facebook... how in the world would I spend my time if I didn't have people to stalk? Luckily my technical depression only lasted a few weeks, but it did open my eyes to how much time I waste on the computer. Most days I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, busy planning, cleaning, cooking or just playing. All too often I find an excuse not to engage the Lord. Father, I'm really busy today, think you could come back tomorrow or ride co-pilot while we run to the grocery store? It's ridiculous. As I sit back and reread my sentence over and over the realization of how spoiled and bratty I am is disheartening. It's a mere twelve days until Christmas and I still can't get it. No matter how clean or Christmasy my house is, no amount of decoration or preparedness can fill the hole of an active relationship with Christ. Why am I still missing the point? How can I possibly miss the sacrifice, the awe, the blessing?

David wrote in Psalm 32 about how when his sin remained silent and hidden his bones wasted away, but when he disclosed his sin and repented the Lord not only forgave him, but filled him up. His closing line echos through the caverns of my heart: "Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!", vs 11. Scripture tells about David being a man after God's own heart, but boy did he know how to screw up. When the Lord blessed him most richly, he often had a tendency to go his own way. But every time he comes back. The Lord draws him back to a place of right relationship, of righteousness. On a morning where my to-do list is a mile long; where laundry has engulfed my couch, dirty dishes lie in the sink and Christmas boxes litter the house, it is abundantly clear where He is calling me.

Irony

There are sometimes when the irony of it all just cracks me up. I spent a good chunk of yesterday morning crafting my first blog post. I tried to keep my heart honest and vulnerable while being grateful for the incredible provision and grace we've been extended. And wouldn't you know it, just sheer moments after clicking publish a million tiny bombs go off. Bombs might be an extreme word, nothing THAT bad happened yesterday, it was more like those obnoxious firecrackers you can buy around the Fourth of July. You remember the kind. The ones that are all in long string so it's a fluid pop, pop, pop, pop. That's how news settled into our day yesterday.

It was Thursday; that means we have a standard play date with some of the other Mommies, nannies and friends who have the day off. We normally meet up at a park in the area, it's super casual. We get there when we get there, we wear whatever is clean (or not too dirty) and we share life together. It's fantastic. Can I begin to tell you how much I treasure these ladies and their sweet babes? Anyhow, for some reason I spearheaded this whole Thursday morning standard so I'm the one that sends out the email about where we'll be meeting. And because I'm a stay at home mom, lets just say I might be a smidge starved for adult interaction sometimes, so I send out these silly emails about what's going on in our lives; how Barrett recently learned that some of his toys float in the dog bowl, stupid jokes from my nanny days that are forever lodged in my brain, antics of our dog who's going through his snotty 'teenage' faze or just random ramblings. Since the only other person in my "office" is 13 months old I have no one to tell said ramblings to, therefore, I must, of course, share them with my poor helpless friends who only want to know where the stinking play date is!... I digress. Clearly you can tell at this point that we didn't make it to playgroup. Barrett decided it was a three nap kind of day, which totally put a wrench in our whole plan. *pop*

Then my phone decides to have issues. I get two voicemails that magically appear and are two days old. Deeligtful, nothing warms my heart more than an afternoon fighting with the verizon people. Braden thinks my operating system is outdated, shouldn't be too big of a deal... until I drop my phone and the screen cracks. *pop*



Crank pot wakes up from his first morning nap and is signing away like crazy that he wants his milk and he wants it now! I grab his least favorite sippy (of course all his favorites are in the dirty dishwasher), spill a bit of milk on his highchair but finally get that poor starving child his drink. The house smells amazing, while he was eating breakfast I made gluten free pumpkin bars. They're still warm from the oven, so I cut us both a slice and tend to the dishes while he has his snack. I swear I'm not turned around for 30 seconds and this child has smeared the two chocolate chips from his pumpkin bar into his hair, behind his neck and all along both thighs. Snack was followed up with a birdbath in the sink and nap number two. *pop*

Nearly once a month Braden heads north to the University area where he catches up with friends over coffee or dinner and gets a haircut; this happened to be that evening. He ended up working in the office until 7, it had been a horrific day on top of all the infrastructure stuff. A small mistake mushroomed into an error that nearly a dozen people had to be worked into fixing it. He was late to dinner, late to his haircut and super late to coffee all while fielding phone calls and sending emails until nearly 11pm. He finally walked in the door at quarter to twelve. *pop*

All in all, I still firmly stand by what I wrote yesterday. God is good all the time. My perspective, the glasses that I see the world through, depends on where my heart is and how I'm responding to circumstances at the time. Regardless of the firecrackers, while tiny in the grand scheme of things, I am charged to respond differently. I should look through His eyes to see the bigger picture.

Today, I was able to do that. Not going to playgroup forced me to conquer the growing number of medical bills that the insurance company and our doctors can't seem to line up about. I've yet to conquer verizon, but cracked phones are why we bought the insurance policy. A chocolate bath will be one of the sweet memories I recall when he's no longer my baby. Braden's trip to University bore SO much fruit. He connected two friends from different worlds, consoled and counseled his Iranian hairdresser and loved on a dear friend that is facing so many challenges.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8
I just have to remember that...

My very first blog post...

Life is crazy... sometimes it seems everything in the world is difficult, rough and tumble, as strenuous as one could possibly imagine. Yet others, the sun shines through clean windows first thing in the morning, you get something good unexpectedly in the mail, the people you love are healthy, happy and generally content and everything seems right with the world. In both places if you choose to look for Him, He is there. He stands in the scary shadows of life and in the bright, sunny spots.

It seems like for months on end our little family was in a murky spot. Not a bad place, nothing to complain about really; just not the chipper, upbeat place we normally like to exist. Thankfully, the tides have been changing and as the summer heat drew colder, our world became brighter. Maybe it was circumstance. Maybe it was our outlook. Or maybe He was drawing us into a place closer to Himself.

So right now, for this fleeting moment- and I hesitate to publish- all is almost well with our world. And while I'm not normally a fan of the impending cold weather and the months on end it seems to drag on, I am waiting with eager anticipation to see what He's up to. Full knowing that there will be both murky, cold, dingy days and sweet, sunny, contented days ahead.